How to Build a Girl

How to Build a Girl
Caitlin Moran

 I had almost neglected to write this review, seeing as it has been so over-reviewed already, but when I saw a friend reading it and laughing all the way through, I felt the need to offer my thoughts.

All those who know Caitlin Moran know her story by now - a clever girl raised on a council estate who lands a teenage writing prize and goes on to blag a column in The Times. Moran insists that How to Build a Girl is fiction, but it is hard to distance this novel from her own reality.

But it is not the plot of this novel that I want to celebrate, rather the little snippets of hilarity that are simultaneously completely familiar and obsurely unique. The teenage self-consiousness that convinces Johanna Morrigan she is singularly responsible for her family's poverty. The misreading of social convention that makes dressing solely in black seem like the best idea, and her mother's concern that she is acting like a dark crow that has decended upon the household. The naivety that allows her to have so much sex and so few orgasims.

Whether or not you like that fact that Moran seems to only write about one thing, you cannot deny the fact that she is honest, realistic and frankly hilarious.

Love in a Cold Climate

Love in a Cold Climate
Nancy Mitford
London, Folio Society, 1995, 241p

I only discovered Nancy Mitford rather recently, and now I am obsessed. Her wit; her unique observations of the world around her; her strange ability to write a whole book in which nothing much happens - all these things I adore.

Love in a Cold Climate is one of her better known novels. It is about the wealthy classes in between the wars, as they attempt to find their places in a world that is no longer dominated by old money and status. Linda almost watches from the outside - she is not fully immersed in this world where diamonds represent social standing, but is welcomed into it by friends and distant family. She has grown up with her aunt and uncle, spending time with the Montdores, a local family with a lonely and beautiful daughter, Polly. Much of the book is taken up with descriptions of tea parties and balls, with the drama focusing around the eventual romance between Polly and a much older widower. 

Linda's commentary, very much in the style of Mitford's other protagonists, is full of humour and subtle disdain, highlighting the ridiculousness of these eccentric families. Through the Montdore family, mothers fail and daughters rebel - children act as a temporary distraction when couples get a little bored of each other, and a constant disappointment with their inability to live up to expectations. 

And love is constantly revered, with everyone being "in love" with everyone else far more often than is necessary. But this madness is warm and touching, reminding the contemporary reader of a time long lost, never to return.

The Montgomery Murder

The London Murder Mysteries: The Montgomery Murder
Cora Harrison
London, Picadilly, 2010, 246p

Years of watching murder mysteries with my mother have led to a love of crime dramas. So when they are successfully created for a teenage audience, and set in Victorian London, we are onto an instant winner.

Alfie lives with his brother Sammy and his cousins in a Covent Garden cellar. They are children of the street, begging  and performing tricks with their loyal dog to bring in enough for food and rent, but they are savvy and knowledgable. When a murder happens in a nearby street, Alfie is recruited by Inspector Denham to find out the talk about town and solve the mystery.

Mr Montgomery is recently returned to his wife and son from India, where he owned a tea plantation. It seems the crime was not commited for theft, as the body still has many valuables about it. The initial suspect is an Indian boy whose father was hanged for stealing - is this boy out for revenge? But could it be the wife or son, their peaceful lives disrupted by the return of their breadwinner; or even the suspicious Butler, clearly an angry and dangerous man?

The story is led by the young protagonists, who work almost completely without the support of any adults. They manage to find ways into the Montgomery household through a connection with the scullery maid, and they use their knowledge of the city to find people with the answers they need. But the children increasingly find themselves at risk, drawing attention to themselves as they poke around in other people's business, eager to discover the truth.

Cora Harrison has an easy, smooth writing style on which the reader can float along with the story. It is fast-paced and expertly plotted, leaving no opportunities for the reader to get bored with all the action that takes place. And the characters are succinctly developed, though you can tell there is more to learn about these four boys as the series progresses.

Itch

Itch
Simon Mayo
London, Corgi, 2012, 407p

Over the years, my knowledge of the period table of elements has deteriorated somewhat due to lack of revision. But in Itch, the elements come to life, being grounded in everyday objects like toothpaste and earings, and demonstrating unimaginably cool uses.

Itchingham Lofte is not an academic genius or hipster-esque geek. He is not popular or the teacher's pet. He is normal. He gets bored at school and gets into trouble at home. But he is an element collector - gathering materials that contain each of the elements in the periodic table. And sometimes, his experimentations end up causing quite a lot of mess, and sometimes minor fires.

Then, his dealer, Cake, has something new for him - a material that doesn't match the atomic make up of anything Itch has seen before. He's curious, and takes the rock into school to show his teacher in the hope they might shed some light on this strange object. But the rock soon makes it's way into the wrong hands and attracts the attention of some shifty businesses, convinced that this rock is a new element - and a highly radioactive one, at that! Along with his cousin Jack and his sister, Itch has to end what he started, and embarks on an adventure to keep this dangerous material away from anyone who might use it for evil.

Simon Mayo (yes, that Simon Mayo) is an incredible writing talent. He has made science accessible and exciting for someone who had no more than a GCSE-level interest in the subject. I really cannot recommend this enough, and will be forcing it upon my science department as soon as possible!

And in addition to the book itself (which, it is worth noting, is part of a new series), Mayo has made great use of social media and has gone online to link Itch up to the modern world of readers.

Foster

Foster
Claire Keegan
London, Faber, 2010, 88p

The emotion and drama in this story crept up on from out of nowhere, taking me completely by surprise. What began as a seemingly simple but beautiful novella about family left me in tears.

In Foster, a young girl is left by her father with her aunt and uncle. With no explanation and no idea when she might go home, she quietly settles into life on her relatives' expansive farm. Mr and Mrs Kinsella love her dearly, raising her up, teaching her to read and keeping her clean.

Back home, it is implied that the girl is one of a large family and her parents were unable to take proper care of her - they are a rather typical Irish family. But her aunt and uncle have no one but themselves to care for, except a tragic secret they try to hide about a little boy they once had.

The story is told through the eyes of the little girl, who struggles to become attached to these alternative parents, calling them "the woman" and "Kinsella". Over time, she begins to let them into her heart, learning to feel comfortable in a loving embrace or simply holding hands. This is not a dark mystery novella, as the blurb suggests. Rather modestly, it is a sad tale about loss and love.

Any Human Heart

Any Human Heart
William Boyd 
London, Penguin, 2009, 490p

It's quite nice to read a 'grown-up' novel for once. Any Human Heart contains the diaries of the fictional Logan Mountstuart, detailing his life across the twentieth century, incorporating real events and people. At different times, Logan is a writer, a spy or an art dealer; he lives in London, Paris, New York and Africa; he experiences the hardship of the Second World War, the swing of the sixties, and the simple peace of family life. I was utterly engrossed.

The diaries begin during Logan's school years, boarding in Norfolk, and travel with him all over the world. They are sporadic and often undated, with gaps filled by an omniscient, anonymous narrator. In places, there will be a gap of many years, but then they pick up again for no apparent reason. His entries vary in detail and tone, sometimes philosophical, sometimes bluntly matter of fact, but always honest. Being a well-educated writer, Logan's vocabulary is sophisticated and complex, with many words that I had to look up, but I loved the challenging nature of the novel. 

It is a magnificent account of life, true in it's everyday occurrences and extraordinary moments. As Logan states:

"Isn't this how life turns out, more often than not? It refuses to conform to your needs - the narrative needs that you feel are essential to give rough shape to your time on this earth."

Logan's life is not without drama, but it also has great sections in which nothing much happens. And yet you get drawn into the details, from the days spent hobnobbing with literary greats to the end of year reviews in which he always declares he must cut down on alcohol. 

What I admire most about this novel is the historical accuracy. There were episodes I read that seemed to be great works of literary fiction, but turned out to have actually occurred. Logan mixes with Hemingway and Virginia Woolf in the 1930's London - his fictional adventures pass cross their real lives. Later, he works for the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, becoming embroiled in a murder scandal that later sees him imprisoned in Switzerland under mysterious circumstances. I was so in awe of Boyd's detailed knowledge of the twentieth century, to the point where I started to believe the fictional characters in the novel must also be real. 

Any Human Heart was a pleasure to read. It is a gift to history and literature. 

My Best Friends and Other Enemies

My Best Friends and Other Enemies
Catherine Wilkins
London, Nosy Crow, 2012, 202p

I found myself pleasantly surprised by this novel. I haven't picked up a book about everyday teenage girls in a while, mainly because I read so many when I was young and assumed they were all the same. I also thought it would probably completely bore me now I have grown up a little bit. 

In My Best Friend and Other Enemies, Jessica is trying to deal with the fact that her oldest friend Natalie is hanging out with someone new. Amelia is the new girl at school, but she is mean to Jessica, making snide comments on her appearance and excluding her from meet ups. 

Luckily for the reader, Jessica is not a bitter depressive, nor a vengeful aggressive, but somewhere in between. When Amelia and Natalie start a a gang, Jessica creates her own, but has little success in getting all the members to ever get together. She toys with various plots to get her own back, but is smart and conscientious enough to know that she needs to be the bigger person - though this doesn't completely prevent her from occasionally conflicting with Amelia. 

I found the most endearing thing about this story was Jessica's family. They are on "economy drive", striving to save pennies and consume all that is stored in their freezer. This family are funny and sweet, with Jessica's little brother, Ryan, gallivanting around the house pretending to be a spaceman for most of the book. And unlike so many other teenage novels, Jessica does not moan about her strange relatives, but is able to laugh and love. 

Jessica is not a perfect protagonist, nor is she the typical teenage girl you get in so many of these sorts of books, and that is why I actually enjoyed this particular one. She is flawed, human, and her actions leave somewhere between good and bad. But her heart is in the right place and her hurt is understandable. I think I just appreciated that this isn't book that was overwhelmed with drama!

Someone Like You

Someone Like You
Roald Dahl
London, Penguin, 2011, 355p
(World Book Night 2012)

This novel has been sitting on my shelf for ages, so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened it to find it was a collection of short stories. It was just what I needed for the last few days of my holiday - intelligent, witty little bites of fiction. 

Someone Like You consists of a number of short stories written for adults. These are tales of gambling and murder, but told in such a way that you cannot help but read with a smile on your face. Dahl is one of the most hilarious and macabre writers - he is the master of the twist in the tale. 

In most of these stories, the protagonists is the cause of their own demise. Dahl entices you into empathising with these characters, but through ego or stupidity, the hero ends up in ruins. In just a few pages, Dahl is able to build up tension to the point that you find yourself laughing with shock and amusement as the plot suddenly turns in an unexpected direction. 

The ones that particularly stood out to me were the more wicked of the stories. Lamb to the Slaughter begins with a woman excitedly awaiting the return of her husband from work, but things take a dangerous twist when he tells her is leaving her. You read in awe as the events unfold and delight in the strangeness of it all. 

I think what is incredible about these stories is that they are both realist and surreal. The characters are not great works of imagination and the tales begin as narratives of everyday lives. But the twists and turns take you into a dreamlike world where the darkest of fantasies come to life. 

It is similar to the sensation when you might be really angry at someone, and imagine punching them in the face, but of course do not actually take action. Dahl writes those wicked fantasies into short story form, allowing the reader to release some pent up frustrations by laughing at what might happen if you did succumb to your darkest desires.

1984

Nineteen Eighty-Four
George Orwell
London, Penguin, 1989, 326p

Some reviews are extremely difficult to compose: sometimes because the book is pretty rubbish and I have to formulate an articulate way of saying why I didn't enjoy it; but sometimes because the novel is so complex that it takes a while to develop a succinct commentary.

The story of 1984 is so well known it is hardly worth repeating, but in case you have just stumbled upon the Internet because of exchanging a mobile phone for safe passage across the bridge you live under: Winston Smith lives in a dystopia in which your every movement and thought is scrutinised. It is 1984, and the world is split into three states, Oceania, Eastasia and Eurasia, each vying for power. But Winston has his doubts; he sees through the brainwashing, past the unnecessary war: he sees the structures of power and the manipulation of the everyman.

When Winston encounters Julia, he finds love and peace. Julia is a rebel, subtly defying the rules and expectations outlined by the state. She offers him companionship and a feeling of belonging, and finally Winston sees a way out a way to help a rebellion and create equality.

Some books change you as you read, and I wish I had read this when I was younger, as I might have known less about it and been more open to its effect. And yet, I still found it incredibly invigorating - it angered and inspired me. I felt like Orwell's language was alive, seeping into my subconscious, shaping my thoughts. Although it was a criticism of the society in which Orwell lived, the subject is timeless and universal, exploring the evil of social power structures and greed.

Big Brother is a terrifying concept, watching you all the time; and yet this is the society in which we now live. The power held by a minority is overwhelming, and the extent of their exhortation of the masses is incredible. It is brainwashing to the highest level, with documents being destroyed and history being altered. (As a librarian, this is my worst nightmare!) But as it is happening on such a large scale, I struggled to comprehend how the deception could succeed. Even though much of the written information was being corrupted, those doing the corrupting had to be aware of what they were doing and what the original documents stated, so should have been capable of doing something. But even this Orwell has thought of, and has introduced the concept of doublethink, a concept that feels almost impossible to explain. Perhaps I shall leave that to Orwell and make you read it.

Whilst 1984 scared and angered me, it also made me feel very lucky. Oceania is a dystopia, and however much it reflects contemporary reality, it is not real. In theory, it still could become our reality - Orwell was writing in the 1940s about a future he feared might develop, and of course it still could. What would be fascinating would be to know what Orwell makes of our world now. I speculate he would not be best pleased.

The Collected Dorothy Parker

The Collected Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker
London, Penguin, 2001, 610p

I first came across Dorothy Parker a few years ago at a Dead Poet's Slam, in which people performed the poems of their favourite deceased writers. Her poems were sharp and witty, full of cynicism and anger, but not ranting-and-raving anger, but a more poignant and observational social critique.

This collection includes Parker's poems, short stories, and journalistic writings. Her style is singular and her tone is unique. In the introduction to this collection, one particular phrase stood out: "the imagination of disaster". By this, it is implied that she always manages to see the worst in things, as all her stories end badly. It is suggested that Parker did not think she would live as long as she did: in an age when all young female writers seemed to die prematurely, Parker lived to the ripe old age of 73. The theme of death, particularly suicide, is prominent throughout her poems ans stories, in which many of her characters are angry, lonely or depressed. 

Most of these works were written in the 1920s, a time in which anything seemed possible. There were riches, sex and parties: the American Dream. But nothing was ever enough, and Parker highlights people's dissatisfaction with this world, anticipating the crash of the 30s. Her stories are about people who are lonely and confused, always wanting: wanting for their absent lover, wanting for a fur coat like the one the neighbour has, wanting for more of this or less of that. These characters turn to gossip, alcohol or extra-marital sex. They crave meaning and purpose, but always seem to be unable to find that fulfillment.

And yet, her language and descriptions are so captivating and addictive that I found myself in love with the beauty in the world, rather than lamenting the problems in it. Her stories are magnificently visual, and in just a few pages, you become engrossed in these worlds, intrigued by these people. For example, in one story, she describes a women as such:

"She was tall, and her body streamed like a sonnet. Her face was formed all of triangles, like a cat's is, and her eyes and her hair were blue-grey."

There is a beauty to this language that is unprecedented. Parker's humour is sharp and observational, drawing your attention to some of the most common-place things and making them entertaining:

"Men seldom make passes / At girls who wear glasses."

And that is the whole poem. Two lines: just brilliant. Though I think my favourite poem is Observation, because it perfectly encapsulates a thought I have almost every day.

 Her tone and wit continue into her journalistic writing: reviews, commentaries, columns. It is like she is sat across the table from you in a coffee shop, telling you about the play she saw last night, laughing at the unconvincing acting or praising the audience's reaction. 

I really enjoyed reading these stories and poems over the last few weeks, and I am ashamed I knew so little of her before now. Parker's stories end in tears or death - none of them offer the that fairytale happy ending - but they are real and honest, a criticism of the time in which she lived. She was a rare literary beauty, and I am glad she was an exception of her generation and lived long enough to give us such a vast and entertaining collection of writing.  

The Taming of the Shrew

The Taming of the Shrew
William Shakespeare
London, Penguin, 1974


Yesterday evening, I was lucky to get to see the Globe Theatre on tour at the Bodleian Library Quad, performing The Taming of the Shrew.

The Taming of the Shrew is controversially my favourite Shakespeare play. I say it is controversial because, in theory, it goes against all my feminist beliefs. It is a story about two sisters, Katherina and Bianca. Thier father insists that the eldest must be married before the youngest; but Katherina is a shrew: angry, stubborn and difficult. Bianca's suitors are relieved when they stumble upon Petruchio, an eccentric gentleman who is determined he can take her.

In theory, I have a real problem with this play: i.e. the idea that a woman can be tamed. We cannot. And yet, I find this to be an intelligent, witty, moving story about relationships between the sexes. Katherina is a headstrong heroine, loud and feisty, and Petrichio is a ridiculous pedant. In my humble opinion, both are tamed: they come fo realise they must manage their behaviour and inhibitions in the company of others. As such, Katherina appears "tamed", but I consider Petruchio to also be somewhat more sedate.

I found it a strange contrast to read a play with so little stage direction. Other than telling the characters when to enter and exeunt, Shakespeare leaves the play in the hands of the director. This means every performance is different and adaptation is flexible. I think this is why there have been so many interpretations and modernisations of his plays.

Before seeing the play last night, I went to a pre-show talk, in which I found two subjects discussed to be of particular interest. First, the repeated references to possessions throughout the story. Money is key: it breeds friendships, supports marriages, and defines relationships. On several occasions, Bianca's suitors debate who has the most right to her hand, arguing over their wealth and land. Elsewhere, Petruchio calls Katherina his possession, and Katherina later declares one's husband is "thy lord, thy king, thy governor". Yet, given the contemporary society, this is understandable. This is a story about bourgeois families vying to out-bid each other for the "love" of a beautiful woman. And this is why Petruchio and Katherina's love seems so much more valid: they are both rich and crazy but they don't need anything from each other. They are whole as individuals, and their union makes them a strong team. (Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic.)

The other thing I was particularly interested in was the concept of performance. The Taming of the Shrew is a play within a play. At the beginning, a lord plays a trick on a drunk, dressing him in finery and pretending he is a lord. He employs a passing troupe to put on a play, and hence the well-known story begins. As such, it has been argued that the play can be seen as a farce, a comic commentary on gender roles and a criticism of the bourgeois values that dictate society (and hence, a misogynist tale it is not. Hurrah!).

And so, I hope I have been able to justify my love of The Taming of the Shrew. And if not, no one can deny the appeal of Shakespeare performed outside on a warm summer's evening.

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby
F Scott Fitzgerald
London, Everyman's, 1991, 148p

As an English graduate, I am ashamed that I have not read this novel in the past. The Great Gatsby is emblematic of it's time, portraying 1920s New York as the centre of materialism and wealth.

Narrated by Nick Carraway, Fitzgerald's novel tells the tale of Jay Gatsby, party host, socialite, and subject of many rumours. Those in Gatsby's circle are living the American dream - wearing expensive gowns, drinking champagne through the night, exploiting the possibilities of wealth and privilege. Underlying this descriptive element is a tale of romance, as Gatsby embarks on a conspiracy to be reunited with his past love, Daisy.

Carraway's tale is one of few characters and little drama, excepting the rather unexpected fall from grace at the end, which I shall not spoil. Through his narrative tone, Carraway is quietly critical of all that Gatsby's guests represent - many are uninvited, few actually know the host, and all speculate on the truth of gossip suggesting he's a German spy, or perhaps he's killed a man. Few of these wealthy elites seem happy with their lot, though by appearance they have achieved the American dream. It reminds me of American Psycho (just with slightly less sex and murder), with Patrick Bateman's tireless hatred of the life that he leads, and the ideology of consumerism that overwhelms society. 

You float through this novel on a bed of Fitzgerald's words - he uses the most romantic language to describe the parties and people. He perfectly captures the Jazz Age, contrasting it's beauty and excitement with horror and dissatisfaction.